F@#$ games I don't like one bit. Not one bit at all.

Top 5 least favorite games

So spurred on by my favorite games list, the other side of the mixed metaphor, games that I don't really like.  There are rules for these selections.  They have to be decently rated on BGG list.  Top 500 at least.  If they are ranked 6000th, well let's face it, no one really likes it.  They also have to have been released post Settlers of Cataan.  I can go on for pages about what a crappy game Car Wars is, but it's also 30-35 years old and the context really doesn't apply anymore.

First the dishonorable mentions.

Samurai ranked 89th

This actually barely made the mentions list.  The core mechanic is basically playing dots and boxes, which I don't like at all.  But it plays 3 quite well and quickly.  So I won't say I will never ever never play this again, but there's got to be pretty specific circumstances.  #1, there has to be only 3 people playing.  #2, I have to not want to play the other usual suspects we typically break out for 3 player.

Tobago ranked 252nd.

The game play is actually pretty cool, but the scoring has problems.  There's a lot of variance and something you invested 6 moves in can be worth a lot less than your opponent's 3 move play.

Stone Age ranked 36th

2nd player to move has one hell of an advantage, and since we have started informally tracking victories, Player 2 wins at least 3/4's of the time, and maybe as much as 9 out of 10 games. 

Credit where credit is due, Juan came up with an auction-based house rule on who gets to be player 2 that I am positive would balance the game.  But it's simply not a good enough game to play test this house rule to confirm that.

#5

Glenn Drovers Empire: Age of Discovery ranked 54th

This actually isn't an awful game.  I just don't want to play it again.  It takes 3 hours and the most successful strategies are way too similar to one another.  That's way too long for such narrow victory paths.  It did have some decent replay until I figured that part out.

#4

Fresco ranked 137th

The problem in this game is a convergence of scoring and turn order.  Cash turns into VPs at game end, but doesn't influence turn order during the game.  So you can hoard money (delayed VPS), and still get the advantages of being in last place during the game.

Now we can probably house rule some patches for this game, but like Stone Age it's not a good enough game to bother play testing and trouble- shooting fixes.  In fact, Fresco is a lot less fun than Stone Age.

#3

Thebes ranked 198th

A game I've only played once.  It does have a clever mechanic.  The primary thing you have to manage is time, you have 2 years worth of moves.  And whoever is furthest in the past goes, which means you can manipulate the game so you can take multiple turns in a row.

The problem is the scoring.  You invest a lot of your time into "digs" which in game turns means pulling tiles from a bag and hoping that some score.  There is way way way way way way way too much variance in what you pull.

#2

Genoa ranked 188th

I've also only played Genoa once, and that was enough.  It's got one neat mechanic.  The game board is a gridded map, and you roll two dice to see where this turn's move starts.  You get 5 moves from that spot to pick up various assets.

The problem is every asset is trade-able and every move requires negotiation.  This destroys pacing with endless contract talks and makes the game experience a lot like buying a used car.

#1

Smallworld ranked 69th

I haven't played Smallworld in over 2 years, and apparently am still carrying the scars.  This game has a lot of problems.  

A) the pacing is atrocious.  I'd probably only dislike this game and not despise it if played in 30-45 minutes and not 75-90.

B)  some of the badge-tribe combinations make unbalanced power combos.   So either that guy wins or the table unites to gang beat him down.   Either way, I don't find this fun.

C)  the core mechanic is calculating a provinces defense and adding 2, then sending the appropriate amount of soldiers.  The game is centered around counting.  Effing Lame.