F$@& Greatest Hits

So there I was, relating another pointless anecdote.

“Did you buy links?”

Car Wars

I did not witness the provocation (Mike did and I am sure he can tell that story.) but I did witness the aftermath.    Unsurprisingly, Chris Brown was the target for revenge.

Dave R. built a van loaded up with the maximum amount of heavy rockets in the front, which is 8.    His plan was to ram Chris, and have the rockets fire off via a bumper trigger.  So he goes right after Chris.  Accelerating to Ludicrous Speed and does a suicidal headlong charge into Bad to the Brown.  He is so sure that 8 rockets will finish him off, when Brown asks “So, did you buy links?”

You see, to have weapons fire simultaneously, you need to spend a trivial amount of money on weapons links.   Poor Dave.  Rules Lawyered out of satisfying revenge.

“Free Alp”

Eurorails

Building well designed track is pretty key, and in the later stages of the game you really need to think carefully before you build.  Mike P. did not think this through carefully.  He regularly drew strange off shoots and unnecessary cut offs.   After witnessing this occurrence for the dozenth time, Ryan announce, next crack track you build, we are awarding you a free alp (most expensive milestone to build).

Now the funny apart is not that Mike P. got the free alp.  The funny part is that not two turns later, he used that free alp as part of another cut off.

“Would you like to cut?”

Pursue the Pennant baseball

This is a card and dice game, with the players being represented via cards.  James H. got an expansion team.  These leagues are generally not kind to expansion teams and James’ squad was no exception.  So he managed to have fun by adopting an irreverent approach.  Inspired by Billy Martin’s drawing a line up out of a hat, James shuffled his player cards for the lineup.  This just infuriated Rich K.  I found it funny regardless, but it didn’t become hysterical until James asked Rich if he wanted to cut.

“What’s his first name?”

Trivial Pursuit

Bragging commencing now….I have a really good memory.    I have definite holes in trivia, but I get lots of questions right.    Mike mentioned this story here, and to briefly summarize the question was who played 26 seasons for the Raiders, Bears and Oilers.  I did have to think about this, and I did give a hesitant answer of “Blanda.”

The part that makes this memorable for me is Ryan’s sarcastic tone of voice asking “What’s his first name?”  my reply of “George!” and his reaction  “HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS?!?!?!?!?!?”

“You’re welcome to try”

Robotech RPG

When the old game at Vintage got huge, we split into groups.  And this night, we played in the upper floor of the restaurant I worked in.  Springs shout out.  The split group was still F%$ing huge, like 8-10 players.  Looking back, I don’t see how we put up with that but anyways…

So the game was lame.  We didn’t do hardly anything and Mike got bored.  He started checking recording Joe L.’s dice rolls.  Joe L. was a douche bag.  The game was rolling 2D10 to generate a number from 1-100, using one color as the ones digit and the other as the tens.  This requires the player to ‘call his die’.  Joe would not.  You wanted to roll low, and I was shocked, shocked I say when Joe’s rolls had the tens digit less than the ones digit 24 out of 25 times.   Mike shared this project with me, and soon required a pencil.  I had to borrow one from James A.  I made the notation and gave it back.  James A. is kind of a dickhead too.  He would not rest until he found out what that notation was.  Joe overheard the explanation and the jig was up.

He stormed out, but forgot his sunglasses.

Now after someone calls you out for cheating and you storm out only to return, you can’t just slink in grab your forgotten items and slip back out.  I expected a confrontation.

Set the scene, between me and Joe there are two really heavy 12 foot tables together in the center of the room, and narrow passages on the sides.    Between me and Joe, were about a half dozen people including Darwin W., 6’4” and 240, and Steve K., 6’2” and 240 (not much fat, Steve was built).

So when Joe screamed “I ought to rip your head off!” I replied (after doing that quick people between me and him calculation) “You’re welcome to try!”

So leaving some off.  Teasers?

"I don't even know what your deck does?"

"Let me get this straight, the first thing your mom thought of when she looked at your baby self was Orc Slayer?"